Do We Create Stories, or Do Stories Create Us?

Every one of us carries stories. Not just the ones we read in books or see in movies, but the personal ones the conversations that never left us, the people we once loved, the days that shaped us without warning. Some stories are joyful, some painful, and some so ordinary that we don’t even realize how much they’ve changed us until years later.

We like to believe we are the authors of our lives. That we are in charge. That we decide who stays, who leaves, what paths we take, and what kind of ending we’ll have. But if you pause and think, hasn’t life already proven otherwise?

A chance meeting changes everything.
A single word spoken at the wrong time leaves a scar.
An event you had no control over becomes the turning point of your life.

These are the stories that create us.

Think about your own life for a moment. The way you trust people today probably comes from a story in your past someone who either kept their promise or broke it. The way you handle love may have roots in an old heartbreak or in the warmth of someone who showed you what love really means. The way you face challenges might trace back to that one teacher, parent, or stranger who told you, “You can do this.”

You didn’t “create” those stories. They created you.

And yet, at the same time, we do create stories. Every time we forgive instead of holding onto anger, we give the story a new ending. Every time we rise after falling, the story takes a different turn. And every time we share a memory, we decide how it will live on in someone else’s mind.

So maybe it’s not about choosing one side or the other. Maybe it’s both. We shape the stories, and in return, the stories shape us. Life is really just a back-and-forth between what happens to us and how we decide to live with it.

The truth is: we don’t live our lives as isolated facts. We live them as stories. We tell ourselves what something meant, why it mattered, and what it turned us into. That’s why two people can go through the exact same event, but walk away with entirely different versions of the story. One sees defeat, another sees growth. One sees an ending, another sees a beginning.

Stories are not just entertainment. They are how we survive. They give shape to the messiness of being human. Without stories, our past would feel like scattered fragments; with stories, it becomes something we can hold, even if it hurts.

So, the next time you think about your life, ask yourself: are you creating the story, or is the story creating you? The answer might be both. Because as much as we carry our stories, they carry us too.

And maybe that’s why, long after we are gone, the stories remain.
They remember us when we can’t.
They speak for us when we no longer can.

Because in the end, we don’t just live stories
we become them.